i hope my private-viewin werks.

current feelin: fuckin emo. some happiness.
i went to a friends blog and saw Orchards aka Firdaus photos. he lookd quite gay in de first photo but anw, i got excited abit la. like really abit only. scroll scroll scroll.... i saw smtg tt made me stop for like a second.
it was Him. his picture.
he lookd good.
he lookd fat. hahaha.... ((:
he lookd happy.


thats all that matters right. and i am, for him.


it was so sad cos de song tt was playin, Damien Rices The Blowers Daughter, had tis line tt kept repeatin "i cant take my eyes of-a you." and i seriously couldnt. i cant think straight when i lookd at de pictures, i cant help but smile, even tho im cryin as well, and my head feels either so light/heavy from all tis overwhelmin rush of emotions.. i could just die. its that feelin again. you feel sooooo fuckin helpless w u life bcos u know its not complete. its not fulfillin. its not, happy.


that all that matters right. that he is happy.


thank u hidaya.