im feelin sick to my stomach. i feel like slashin myself.
i shoudl have died de other time. cos it wouldnt have hurt as much..
...ive TRULY lost de ONLY person i love.
...ive hurt him SOOO SOOO BADLY that i can NEVER forgive myself.
...ive got nothin.


i'd thought u wouldnt update anymore.


i just feel like i can REALLY do somethin BETTER for his life. but thats like an oxymoron. puttin beside de werds "better for his life". IVE BLARDY RUIND HIS LIFE!!!!
i SWEAR i can cut myself now.....


as much as tis hurts, for both of us, you know youve always made de right choices. theres no Love if you dont feel it. and i can never force u ever again. i just hope u do find somone else who will love you better than i did. and i hope it happens soon.
as much as i think i'd die knowin tt ure attached, it beats You dyin from all tis mess ive fuckin caused.
if you feel de hurt, i feel it too. just maybe twice more. cos it hurts even more knowin tt ure still sufferin because of whad I did. i know most of ur friends are anti me by now. please listen to them. they want it to end as much as i want it to end for u. ure a strong boy. strong background and beliefs.
but i also know that it can be twice as painful because you gave me ur heart n soul into de rship and i FUCKED UP FUCKIN BLOODY BADLY.

sigh...
ive ran out of excuses to support myself. and i DONT want to support myself. tis past 4mnths has been a real eye opener. i know now that YOU TRULY ARE ONE IN A MILLION. theres NOONE else like you. unless hes in de movies. and its true. tis is as serious as i can get. and as much as i want u back, i also want it to be tis way. so that i dont hurt you again. and like ive said before, i'd rather not get back together w you. please dont think that i dont love you. ive NEVER loved anyone else, just STUPID FUCKIN FLINGS!!! and i dont think i can love anyone else like i do you.

de reason why im cuttin all ties from u is because i know u want these. uve said it before, just that i didnt listen. as usual right? and now that ive come to terms w these things, i guess i should really let you go. physically.
mentally and emotionally, you'll forever be in me. my life. my mind.
till i die, i swear..